Friday, October 30, 2009

Sorry LAME

*Did her hair ever grow back? these nasty hair extensions are getting a lil extreme. If a black girl tried shakin her ass in choppy extensions she'd be lynch by her best friends...and then they'd steal that weave right off her head, tracks and all!

Britney's new video for the sucktastic "3" is just as bad as the song!

Its catchy. It's Pop. But goddamn, this woman used to actually dance! It's like she has completely forgotten pop starts have to know how to dance...and remind us every now and again. It's great she can do a "beyonce pelvis" but was there ANYTHING this choreographer could have set on her?

Maybe something without 7 inch heels on perhaps?

She looks great as most of the time. But this vid is really weak. The other dancers didnt even really do much. From the sneak peak pictures, I thought this would be Queen B a run for her money with "Ego"....nope!

Maybe I just watch too much Bollywood. They are the stars that she should be watching.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Well that was a downer...

This Is It was pretty amazing. I say if you have 10 bucks to should see Michael Jackson as "live" as you'll ever get. The film plays almost like a concert with fade outs and detailed HD views of what would have been on the screens behind him. For anyone who's been part of live performance, its fun to hear all the light and sound cues cause it kinda ruins things for you!

Michael looked really weak. Anyone with half a brain could have figured out that he wouldn't last 50 fucking shows. The songs flow seamlessly from one another a lot of the time which means he's dancing for 10 minutes straight. And he would indeed "do it one more time" a lot of the time. The director had to make sure he was getting what he needed because this man didn't complain once. Well there was one drug induced ramble about the inner ear needing to be lowered in volume. It was about a minute long and thats when he looked his most frustrated. But still he'd always say "its all for love".

The whole cast and crew were reminded often of his love for them, something they all reciprocated in the beginning of the film. Something I TOTALLY cried about. I cried exactly 40 seconds into this film, and I am not lying.

I then cried about 4 more times. The show itself sheds a lot of light into the personality of Michael Jackson. He was really really really...normal. Just an old man with an old soul and a really inexpressive face. But to be honest I didn't care about his face at all. You actually forget he looked like us back in the day...

Thriller 3D was kind of lame btw. Nothing compares to the first.

Oh and I love love love MJ's rehearsal style. He has a jacket in some sections with up turned, asymmetrical shoulder pads. He looks like a cartoon villain, its beautiful! Other times he just wore shirts and Ed Hardy pants. All X-small because he was THIN AS HELL! You'll worry that he'll break the entire duration of the film, trust.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Hah bitch


Whatever, even if her people never saw this album art...its hilarious all the same.

By the way Russian Roulette is a shitty song in the same key she always sings in. And how tacky to be covered in barbed wire trying to be sexy. Yeah right, that shit hurts like a fist in the face...oh wait..


Friday, October 23, 2009

I am so in love with this photo!

My First Family is gorgeous! It's amazing that Michelle's and Barack's features transferred perfectly in both the girls!

Its currently my desktop since I don't really want to get the framed official version to hang in my house. I do however have this cute little pin hanging in the kitch from the light chain



Saturday, October 17, 2009

Paranormal Activity

Ok guys. Think Blair Witch only with better acting, better camera work, and you thankfully only have to be "shaken camera-ed" around a house and not a fucking forest.

The story centers around Katie and Micah (like singer Mika) as they try to understand the strange goings on in their home. Katie explains that its happened since childhood and will hopefully go away. Well Micah is a boyfriend and decides to take it upon himself to solve the problem and in doing so ruins the rest of their lives. Even the psychic in the movie does a full on "peace homies" on the couple.

Fantastic acting by Mark Fredrichs, Katie Featherstone (who reminded me of Pam from The Office the ENTIRE movie) and Micah Sloat but the ending is about as shiteous as they can get. For a second I thought the phone would ring and we'd hear "7 days" whispered through it. Why did it suck? cause they let Steven Speilburg pick the ending apparently. Or so wiki would have me to somewhat beleieve. The sad part is that there are alternate endings that sound fucking PERFECT.

But we have to save something for the massive DVD re-release don't we?

I will say without a doubt this is NOT the scariest movie I've ever seen. Not even close. The Ring was actually scarier than this movie and I am not joking even slightly! But if you want to see some great improv acting I'd say check it out on dvd...

Oh and no I am not scared to be alone in my home. To be honest if I were haunted by anything, I'd want it to have more balls and be a bit more creative in its haunting of me. There I said what everyone else has been thinking!!

Now watch, I'm gonna get thrown across the room and have to put powder all over my nice clean floor


Thursday, October 15, 2009

Tina Fey has body image issues

I simply cannot hear this GORGEOUS woman say that she isn't beautiful or sexy. I have been watching her since she first appeared on SNL in front of the camera and I have to say that even without make up she is a sight to behold!

It makes me so sad to hear her put herself down as if she couldn't have been a model or serious actress. Its as if she really does believe the "glasses and ponytail=ugly" scenario made famous by 80's teen flicks! I do however think its absolutely fine to be a virgin into your 20's. If I could do it all again I'd be a virgin right now because lets face it...when you are a teen, boys aren't worth it at all! It doesnt make you cool kids!!



So swine flu isn't fun. I knew after making some very funny jokes about 9/11 with a friend that I was probably gonna get it as Karma....

In other news

-A boy took off in an air balloon and now he's missing cause he probably fell out of it! The Dahlia Post thinks its morbid and hilarious...such a bitch

-Someone punched Leona Lewis so she decided to cancel her life. Get over it! Be a DIVA!

-Lady Gaga is mooching off of my second favorite Sasha Fierce song "Video Phone" man. It'll be catchy since the girl is made to be so, but Beyonce doesn't need Gaga!

and last but not least. No body cares about the Kardashians anymore. I have felt the shift go from love to hate. All cause of Klo and Kourt! Poor Kim...

PS Tracy Morgan's ladies like it in the butt

"I like fucking ass! Ain’t nothin’ like the butthole. The ass is a delicacy, goddamn it. I’d put hot sauce on it. You got to be willing to do anything to please your woman, to satisfy her. I didn’t invent it. You think I was the first one to think of having anal sex with a girl? Hell, no. I’m quite sure Adam fucked Eve in the ass. In the Garden of Eden he tore her ass up."

- Tracy Morgan


Monday, October 12, 2009

Totally disappointed!

Its a ballad. If that was it..Ima be mad! Plus it doesnt say anything that he hasnt been singing about for years! I just can't listen to anther song with MJ singing about a GIRL. We all know there were no girls Mike....

But I mean..he's Michael Jackson. I'm treating him like a disney movie: ever 5 or 10 years a new song will be released for a new compilation album and then in to the vault he'll go!

PS Paul Anka says he half wrote the song. Ok...oh and who the hell is Paul Anka. Yeah thats why he's bitchin...


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Hey Hey! That's racist!

Harry Jr. (who I love and adore and have a huge crush on btw) was on the aussie show "Hey Hey, its Saturday!" recently and was treated to some good ole fashion blackface!

This is Harry "I love black culture" Connick Jr!!!! of course he wouldn't enjoy racism at its best.

I really enjoyed the female judges take on the performance too. Pretty sure there's a whole grip of colored spades in Austrailia anyway..wouldn't they find it just as offensive...worrisome huh?

Hats off to Harry for saying what everyone else was thinking. If they tried that shit here "hey hey, no more show."


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Madonna said she'd rather be dead than married again

1) I bet she'd marry Sean Penn again in a hearthbeat

2) whatever perezbitch

Guy Ritchie is clearly trying to get himself some attention, which we'll gladly give him, on the note that we think he is a total asshat for bringing up Madonna in any capacity after being divorced for almost a year.

In an interview for Esquire Magazine, Guy starts off with some much deserved praise for his ex, explaining that he felt she could go toe-to-toe with anyone 20 years younger than her: "Madonna makes things happen. Put Madonna up against any twenty-three-year-old, she'll outwork them, out-dance them, outperform them. The woman is broad."

Yes she is. You'd do well to remember that.

Oh wait, he forgot and then pulls out this stoopid comment: "I still love her. But she's retarded, too."

Name calling? Really? Has it come to this?

What are you, 2? Even if you still harbor some resentment, you couldn't find a more suitable or mature adjective to describe your ex-wife?

You're suppose to be a respected artist. So much for that!

Ok....This woman has not only put herself in every magazine huggin and kissin on a guy who could be her son. But she's also said some pretty nasty things about Guy Ritchie (who is hot hot hot in comparison to her little Twinky Jesus. I'm still totally on his team cause he put up with Vampirella for almost a decade....

Thursday, October 1, 2009

yes yes yes yes yes!

This is what I'm talking about! This is what I look like and what a lot of women look like and I'm happy that the mainstream media is finally taking a stand!

I wrote about a glamour model (The woman on page 194) who was making waves because her belly wasn't photo shopped in a photo they published.

Well now the magazine is taking advice from readers to hop on the "natural" bandwagon and have put out a call for normal sized models!

I have struggled with my physical appearance my entire life. I'm extremely happy that this is happening. I embraced every curve I've got about a year ago. In the process I actually lost a bit of weight by simply treating my body as if it were fine anyone. No longer did I punish my "already fat" body with more yucky foods. I work with kids so I'm constantly moving. But I've still got my lovely lady lumps and I'm PROUD!

Now the only issue...why is there only one black and one latina. These are the two races that need to be reminded that their curves do not make them less attractive to others...agreed? 5 white women and 2 "others" doesn't really seem right.