Friday, July 31, 2009

Eminem is finally back...but im worried

he can only find talent in blasting the women in his life. Is that all it takes to get good rhymes out of him??? Quick women of the world....treat him more like shit k?

"The Warning" has been playing on the radio here since yesterday. Loving it!

Now people are saying Mariah is done for. But bitch is a survivor! Even though her business (that we already knew about) is now being blasted...we all knew she was insane and a drinker!

But I'm totally convinced they hooked up and she was just settling. Because lets face it...she's MC and his face is fucked up.


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Drake boo! what happened?

I'm driving in my car and get the news that Drake has torn his ACL!!

My immediate idea....cross promo. He should totally do it all from wheelchair and get Degrassi's syndication ratings back up.


Anyway not to worry, contrary to other reports, he WILL be continuing with the America's Most Wanted crew. He just won't be doing his own set. Which could make or break his career so I hope he's still writing hits...

I did however find a cool interview where he apologizes for the shittastic video for his first single.

"I guess one thing I didn't consider is what the song personally means to a lot of women," Drake said. "To those women, I apologize. I do apologize. My intention wasn't to put anyone down. It was to make them laugh. I wanted people to see something visually different."

Here's some advice yo, DON'T MAKE A FUNNY VIDEO if you think big tittied girls bouncing around to a song we all thought was about a sweet guy loving his girl is fucking funny. Mostly that video sucked cause it made no goddamn sense dude. I love bouncing boobs..but in context context.


Aww thats cute. They sound like young black people too

Brooke Hogan and some dude did an acoustic version of her song "Hey yo".

I've known for years that Brooke could sing. She was showcased early on on Hogan Knowns Best as pretty talented vocally...but young.

Remember she is still young! (unless the rumore are true and shes like 40...and a man)

I thought it was cute! The dude sounds like Neo though...right?

They arent all photoshopped madonna

Madonna has stated that the images of her crazy arms are photoshopped. They arent ALL photoshoped bitch, we know your arms are intensely unappealing. But I have a feeling in like 3 years I'm gonna love your daughter cause I bet shes super fun and talented. Maybe thats why shes in the spotlight now. OMG thats why she had a baby. Ok now I'm being mean...whats new though right?

in other madge news:

its a bad day for leaking media.

Madonna's "Celebration" (you know you're old when you have a song called Celebrate AND Celebration. You could call it "Hoopla" or something?)

Anyway its another "i love dancing" gay club song. It's not hot.

Sorry. Her voice is so old she has to up the back tracks to hide that she can't sing. Even Cher has less busy backtracks.

Oh...and shes doing the thing only britney can really do, the mid track "what are you waiting for?" speech.

I guess long live the vampyre Madonna..

Why are videos never as good as the song!!!

Why??? As we all know, I was super excited to see the new Shakira video for "She Wolf".

Well I just saw it.


Shak looks BEAUTIFUL, but it still wasn't doing it for me. Maybe it was the weird choreography out of the cage. You can only do the claw-robot so many times before you just look sore and uncomfortable.

Plus who knows why she was dancing on the roof. Where'd that come from.

I hate to link to Perez but the video was leaked and he gets first dibs. Check it out!


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

They just posed them...

Don't get me wrong, these dresses are beautiful! but its hard not to notice they posed the women almost exactly the same to get the thin result. One leg in front of the other. Usually in the before, the woman is standing wider to take up more space. In the after her feet are pressed together in high heals so yo can only see the thin top of the foot. I'm glad they are showing in an obvious way that flats aren't slimming though. They also ruin your legs just about as much as heels ruin your feet (ever wonder why your grandmas feet were just shapes? HEELS FUCK UP FEET!)

It also doesnt help that the after shots are made up and in front of a white backdrop. Everything looks good with a white backdrop. It's a photographers liquid dream.

I guess my problem is that these came from

I have a longstanding disliking of Oprah. I remember once in a very black salon the stylists were explaining to one another why Oprah wasn't all that. I remembered wanting to say "oh and she thinks she's fat all the time and needs to be thin" but i was 8 and kept quiet. Oprah is fat. She was made to be fat. I have no idea why its taking this woman forever to realize what I did at 20...I won't be a size 6 but I'm going to enjoy the hell out of my body now cause it can only get worse from here...

This entire "Dress 10 pounds thinner" thing is fine if you dress yourself in a hefty bag every day (which would be really funny if you're fat) but these before pictures werent that bad! Men like a little giggle check out. Its other WOMEN who want you to the men wont gawk at that booty baby!


Quick moment of penis

It's been a real vag day at The Post so I thought I'd take a moment to mention my love and swooniness to Sir Pitbull.

No he's not really a sir, but he's still a mad hottie!

He's defo a Red


Taylor Momsen needs some vaseline

Because she really needs to take off some of that eyeliner (and would a smile besides the cheesy 13 year old one kill you?).

I mean REALLY. I guess girls will always think this look is hot but when you have over an inch of raccoon eye underneath your actual eye...its time to calm the fuck down with the wet n' wild stick!

Back away from the black creme eye shadow Taylor.

I didnt even really wear make up consistently till I was 17! oh wait thats cause I was lazy..nm

oh PS she's 16. And not a full 16, I mean she was 15 up until like this month. I'll give her a break cause of that but lets remember she is 16 guys...whatev that doesnt stop you and you know it you pervs..


Jolin Tsai

If this is China's Britney Spears ...I'm glad we have BS. haha

Jolins "Mr. Q"

Britney's "Do Something"

Jolin's "Agent G"

Britney's "Toxic"

*Big ole WTF with that one. its the same damn song



Shakira shakira!

Ya know after"Hips Don't Lie" I was sure we were done with Shakira. But lemme tell you sunthin hunny.....she's super hot right now! Her new single "She Wolf" is just about the best release this month.

I suggest you all follow my steps...

1) Listen to the English version of the song. You wont understand the lyrics because its Shakira. It's OKAY....

2) Read the lyrics with the song

3) Listen to it en espanol!

Did I get you hooked? Super hot huh? I'm loving the 70's disco feel (plus that howl is cute as hell!). I have the automatic need to listen to Donna Summer! I simply cannot wait for the video I've already been raving about just from the teaser!



Best Aged Cast Ever!


I still may name my daughter Kelly

I was such a huge Saved by the bell fan as a small child. I have no idea why I was even watching the show, but something about it caught my eye. Thats why I've seen every episode including the legendary "Good Morning Miss Bliss" season haha

Jimmy Fallon in an effort to boost ratings and also connect with his fan base, is working steadily on getting the entire cast back together for a reunion. I don't really know why but it would be AWESOME. Unforch Tiffani doesn't seem all that interested. Or maybe shes just milking this for all its worth cause I havent seen this beautiful creature of a woman since Two Guys and a Girl like 50 years ago....

YES! SHE'S STILL PRETTY!!!! I swear I had a barbie that was only to be played with as Kelly Kapowski. When I grew up a little bit the doll naturally became Valerie "I fucked everyone in the zip and I'm still feelin good about myself" Malone on 90210.
I'm starting to learn about myself as a person from the tv shows I watched back then....uh oh

anyway I hope she does it. She has a lot of humanitarian efforts to focus on...but I'm sure it wouldn't take that much of her time. Even Zack Attack is back jack!


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I just liked the girl!

The song is good, but the notes used to compose the chorus is very addicting! Sung by Erika Shivon, Twista's "Wetter" is a pretty intense one. Lots of NSFW lyrics if you can catch them as he spits a mile a minute.

Twista- Wetter (Version 2)

Anyway I googled away and have listened to a few of Erikas solo ventures.....

unforch the only thing I could find that truly showcases her vocals some more is a cover of Kenya's "Amazing"...and lets say its amazing. The producer hyping her up to be the next Tina Turner is a little much but i guess any promo is good promo

che che check it out on her myspace!

PS Isn't it weird how she sounds really thin, and in the video they only show you like...1/4 of her body.... but this bitch is curvy! She's like an amazon dude! woah!


I have to confess

This is what I look like doing hip hop. Which is def good if you're like 8 (which i dont believe this kid is. maybe if he has a growth hormone deficiency) but not so much when you are a former dancer nearing 22....


Monday, July 27, 2009





Saturday, July 25, 2009

Didn't take long for them to slim her down


Yall know she's normally a little fat. They didn't even do a believable job.


Ok I see a trend

Does Katie Holmes want to be Nicole Kidman REALLY bad? We all know she dreamed of marry Tom Cruise when she was growing up....and then did...

But maybe there was a little "oh and by the way I'm gonna be Baz L's bitch after that".

Watching this is like watching Britney Spears' performance in like 2008. Lots of "oh well that could have been good".

She's got a great body but that song calls for something more!! The original from Judy Garland's "Summer Stock" is much better and Judy was only about a year or so younger than Katie during it!

It's like Katie recorded this to send to Baz going "ok so I know I can't sing...but neither can Nicole. And she didnt do much dancing in Moulin Rouge so how about this. Moulin Rouge 2: Satines Return. I dye my hair red and we've got a movie bigger than the first!

or maybe I should marry older and do Chicago 2... Is there another available Douglas?"


Jay....can we drop miss one note please?

Rhianna is a beautiful girl. Not THAT beautiful, but defo a looker. But bitch can't sing and I'm really sick of her one note songs (check for yourself ). If you haven't notice this anomaly...Rhianna can only sing 3 notes: C, D and E all of her songs sound exactly the fucking same to me!

Now she along with Kenya are on Jay-Z's new track! I cannot listen to it because its pretty damn horrible.

For such a beautiful and talented man, you'd think he'd be ok to carry a new single on his own...


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Always a fan

I always have to sing the praises of Dirt Nasty when a new song comes out. New to his playlist: "1969" You should all know by now who this is. If you don't and you're under 25 years're living under a rock.

Dirty Nasty is of course the stage name of actor/rapper Simon Rex. At one point Simon was actually pretty well known as an MTV VJ but unforch Simon did some porn before that gig and he got fired. He then got a deal with WB...only they saw the porn too. Shit son!

Anyway he started doing Scary Movie movies and got some exposure (the good kind) with that and found a love for rap.

Now as Dirt Nasty he's one hot mofo! I simply love the guy and am thrilled he has an extended stay at Martini Ranch in scottsdale. Even more of an opp for me to meet the hotness. I've had a dream, I know it'll be awesome.


Thats not fat...

Rosario Dawson was captured in a bikini recently looking like a normal human being and GASP....people dont like it at all!

I myself saw the headline "Rosario Dawson in a bikini" and thought out loud "is that bitch fat yet?". The screen popped up and I answered my own question with a "yep".

Now when I say fat, I mean fat compared to her anorexic former self. The girl has got black or brown in her somewhere, I know! That means the chances of her being like a fucking lumberjack and rail thin naturally and healthy is slim...haha slim.

What do you think?


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I will NOT put the elephant video up. disgusting

I have never been to the Circus and don't plan on ever going. Even as a young child I knew the horrible underbelly of the circus. Basically its a whole long story about how I don't believe animals are for entertainment. The only animal attractions I can do would be a fair petting zoo. And even that's cruel cause its still hot as hell here during the state fair!

Anyway new footage has leaked of jerkward "handlers" beating the famous B&Bailey elephants before show time. I will not post the video simply because I couldn't get through it myself. Elephants are long loved and respected in my family for being such beautiful creatures.

My only question is, why didnt those elephants knock some sense into the guy!! Notice how I don't say man. No man would beat a domesticated wild animal. Most wouldn't even dare!

Fun Fun Fun!

Tim Burton is such a fav of mine. His work speaks to me on a "ho nutha levle" so to speak.

Thats why I was thrilled to hear about his version of Alice in Wonderland. Not since Adventures in Wonderland have I been so excited to hear the same damn story again.

Lookes SOOOOO GOOOD! I will pay 10.02 to see this with those stupid RealD glasses that are always dirty and give me a headache. Totes.



Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Kid Cudi, you sex machine

His Highness Cudi in all his glory!

Enjoy ladies, and guys you know you enjoy this shit too. Man crush central on The Post!


This is exactly what I wanted to write

Alonzo says it best



I mean thats all I really have to say right?

Never was I a beyonce fan. Destiny's Child was hot for a second then I just couldn't stand their outfits and stopped caring. Beyonce goes and does her solo thing and I went "thats kinda fucked up, what happened to the other girls...".

But now she has arrived. Her songs are no longer young. She is indeed a WOMAN! Her new album is just hit after hit, I'm convinced. Her videos are just so damn amazing at this point I don't know why anyone wouldn't just love her because of the emotion she brings to each one. And can we talk about how good she looks now that she isn't starving herself? Thanks 'being married for a year' faerie!

Plus she's married to Jay Z who I'm pretty sure could think my panties off from across the ocean...


Monday, July 20, 2009

Thanks Megan..I DID need to see it

Every time I see this pic, I wonder if he beat that fucking puppy after it was taken!!!!

Oh dear Ike! that was horrible. You couldn't have worked on that and memorized a section.

Or like...sung it?

Or done an interpretive dance to it?
To be honest he probably does feel pretty terrible. For himself. I in all honesty do not think he cares all that much that he hurt someone physically and probably scarred the shit out of her psychologically. Just that he got caught! That he let his thug out and people didn't like it cause he was too squeaky clean. Smackin bitches is only for the songs guys. Don't do it cause then we get spiffy chic hair cuts and castrate your career. Right?!

PS I asked the lovely Megan W. if it was any better than MJ's

it wasnt. MJ beat you again Brown! How's it feel to be a loser!!!!


Asher Roth still sucks donky dick

I am so sorry that I do not enjoy Asher fucking Roth. I think he's a total poser who doesn't know musicality at all. Either your rhymes hit the rhythm right or they don't!

...but doesn't he just look like a douche bag? Ok maybe it wasn't fair to put a pic of him next to Sir Darkness there

Asher Roth is madonna's vampire spawn.
Alright I made that up, but it works cause they are both equally marginally talented with mad promotion skillz.

like really? =-/

PS I like the obligatory gay bash that all straight white college aged males have to put into their raps. He could easily fit in with the ASU crowd here....and we all know that ain't a compliment!


Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sweet movie update

Today I had the pleasure of watching Teeth, a 2007 indie film about a girl with a toothed vagina.

That enough should have you netflixing it right now! The film has oddly sexy John Hensley in a supporting role and the plot is one of the best I've seen in a while. Defo a must see for the ladies as it has a pretty clear message....don't let just anyone go poking around up there. And an even bigger message to men: Use us and we could bite your dick off...

but anyway John Hensley!
(ps I say oddly because the dude obvs looks like MJ...right? but hes real so its kinda hot.)

Johnny Polygon Shows us why America needs to legalize it

this video just goes to show that if made legal....people would buy anything weed infused. Even if it probably doesn't work all that well!

Recession will just be the name of 10 or 15 black babies if we just legalized the good good.

PS Did you fall in love all over again with our lovely PolyG? Head on over to his myspace and enjoy some new tracks!

Thank U!

Ya know Jen-An was one of my favorite Friends. She's beautiful and has a really interesting acting style. Which is why I've never understood how after CHEATING ON HIS WIFE, Brad Pitt became america's favorite, with Jen-An fighting off "I'm so lonely without Bradly" rumors for almost a decade.

Obviously since she'd been hooking up with some of the celebworlds finest she's O.V.E.R Brad and his K-mart version of Morticia Adams! I have been a Team Aniston member from the start and it pains me that more people in the industry don't set the record straight about how great she is. Maybe its the whole nose job thing...?

"I dont get the press's perception of her as a desperate woman. Shes been with every hot guy from Brad Pitt to John Mayer. She's not tragic, She's amazing."

- Kathy Griffin on Jennifer Aniston, to People magazine

Thank you Kathy G.


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