Saturday, February 28, 2009

Dude of the week: Throw back edition!


Tony Goldwyn.


Who? you may be asking. Well to me he will always be Carl from Ghost. the sunofabitch who gets Patrick Swazye all Ghostified.



anyway I saw that Tony was in the Haunting in Connecticut trailer . Tony hasn't done a whole lot of acting but he's directed a few shows such as Dexter and Greys Anatomy.

While I will always hate the man who was a villian in the FIRST movie to ever make me cry...its good to know he's still working and looking quite well I might add!

-DD

Thank god its not in 3D


3D movies are slowly boring me. Just as it probably did with kids in the 80's and 50's. Basically any time there is an economic crisis, theaters bust out the 3D glasses and hike up ticket prices. I hate having to wait a month or so for 3D movies to be released in regular format at a convenient theater! If anything, make movies really good regardless of the digital clarity or make 3D intense like Disneyland!


Anyway if 3D movies weren't enough, there are an ass load of remakes coming out for the Summer Slasher Season. First up is A Haunting in Connecticut. Now I saw this on Discovery Channel YEARS ago. I wasn't impressed with it then. It's really religious (unless they changed that for the movie), and Im always cautious about haunted house movies because they always end up under the Ammityville curse. Bullshit claims from a family that wont tell the truth, and the kids grew up with the lies and don't know what really happened. The movies are usually reeeeeaaally far fetched and "shadowy". You can't make anything out except the obvious and cheap special FX. And its always really short because horror movies now are about 45 minutes shorter than they used to be...

Some disappointments similar in tone:
Boogyman
Darkness Falls
An American Haunting
Amittyville Horror (both the 70's and 00's versions)


If the trailer is any indication, I'm probably going to skip it





but thank god its not in 3D....

IKE AND TINA ARE BACK TOGETHER!!!!


Oh dear lord in heaven! hhaha

MTV (a station I never watch, but they are airing Not Another Teen Movie) news just updated saying that their sources are sure that Ike and Tina are in contact and may be getting back together.


BECAUSE SHES KNOCKED UP.

Ok ok I added that last part. no one knows if she's having a baby. It would be a good ended to the story before no one cares about them.

2009 is slowly becoming a great year for gossip!

For such a nice day

I thought I'd lighten this up a bit.

Happy Saturday!

-DD

Those were the days...




OMG HOW EMBARRASSING FOR ANY ONE WHO LIKED THIS SONG!!!!

seriously I thought the lyrics were
"its like romeo and juliet. hot sex in the summer just to make you sweat. You about to witness something you aint gon' never regret, and this is how its goin down, this is what I bet, yep."

Now obviously I was 11 and had no idea what they were singing about but those are the lyrics I heard when this song came out, I swear!

What are some misheard lyrics you've heard for years? Comment and the best may end up in this weeks postings!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Megan Fox: Just not that interesting

Maybe its the almost laughably 90's 90210 style shes got (including banging one of the alumni for almost 2 years).
*Thanks Perez
Maybe its the cheap angelina look she's got. A "poor mans angie" if you will, tattoos and all.
Maybe its even that she herself thinks shes hot...but Megan Fox just doesn't catch my fancy...

I'm so tired of hearing that she's broken up with Brian Austin Green. Everywhere, TMZ, PITNB, of course even gaylicious Perez is jumping on the story. I think he's WAY HOTTER than her! If you aren't a 13 year old boy you probably could care less about him. BAG has longevity!

Megan just doesn't have what other hotter girls do. She's too young and processed and fake. Her hair and make up must take forever.

Lets hear about Demi Moore or something. Someone who has taken care of themselves and isn't just lucking into being pretty!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

JRM no! don't let it rule your life!

Poor Jonathan Rhys "irish muthafucka" Meyers. The amazing star of (my favorite) Gormandgast!

and more notably The Tutors

and some really horrible late 90's indie films, has checked himself BACK into rehab.

The guy is irish! and had a horrible childhood plagued that what I can only imagine looked like the setting of Oliver Twist. He needs help and I hope this time around he gets it. Such a great talent for period pieces. Hopefully he becomes legendary and this is just his rough patch.

-DD

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Rhianna Pregs?


I am keeping up my end of the deal of not posting about them anymore



but I have to say PRICELESS!

Hope its true.

-DD

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

MADONNA'S A VAMPIRE



I've been saying it for quite some time.. She is a succubus. She sucks the life force from people like Winifred Sanderson yall!!!

How else do you think a "50" year old woman could look like this when we all know she has been looking worse for wear since 2001?



Then miraculously in 2007 looked like this



I can't believe she has really cloaked a vale over everyones eyes. She obviously is using Jesus Jones or whatever his name is as her current tap of youth juice. It's just a few years that we are gonna see the decline of her children when she starts to taste them...

-DD

Monday, February 23, 2009

A Blog for Grandma


On a real life note, memories are high in the house as we attempt to move for the first time in 8 years. Blogging may be slowed during this time but don't worry..I'm still up on my gossip and brewing!

My grandma attached in some way to an object I haven't seen SINCE I moved. It's an amazing experience only professional pack rats experience. Those who keep the oddest items simply for the memory.

I've realized that my young sister will never know any of the things I remember about my grandma. She wont have stories to tell about her, a snipet of her laugh from a not too memorable moment of hilarity in which she let her real laugh ring loud about the house. And what better way to tell a storie about when fast food was not a daily occurance through out the week, but a treat for when we were good on long winded errands, than in a childrens story book, with one very poiniant picture drawing??

Priceless.


-Joce aka DD

Friday, February 20, 2009

Dude of the week


Jim Parsons.

If you still think CBS is for old people who watch JAG, you're mistaken. CBS's new line up includes some of the best comedies on television. The Big Bang Theory is a situation comedy that revolves around 4 very smart geeks and their blonde bombshell friend accross the hall. Jim Parsons I say proudly, is 99% why I watch the show every week. His texan drawl, mile a minute intelligent monologues and skinny, geeky qualities makes him an instant favorite.

If you're wondering what the other 1% is that bring me in every week....

No no, not the TW's! it's Johnny Galecki! The extremely talented actor from Roseanne fame. He pretty much plays a smarter version of David, but who could ever tire of him?

Anyway, congrats to Jim Parsons and tune in Mondays on CBS.



PS Catch the Doctor Who Refrence!

I Can't Wait For The Weekend To Begin


one of the best lists EVER

Is now a book. Go check it out!

SWPL

*Special Thanks To Daniela!




Stay tuned this weekend for: DUDE OF THE WEEK(or maybe dudette...), A true review of Kelly Clarksons new Album, and probably a lot more or a lot less. We'll see how much internet access gets done.

Show of Hands!!

Who thinks Tom Cruise wears these???

Why does britney not watch youtube?



There are plenty of amazing choreographers posting loads of fantastic videos on youtube. Why are they not choreographing for B Spears? why are we stuck with an old ham like whatshisface who choreographed for Nsync???? That was over a decade ago and its starting to show in his movement

I want to see this at the circus

Rhianna picture making waves


The picture posted earlier of Rhianna's beaten face has been making waves (understandably) in the internet world. Many are saying that it was out of line for a picture so "gruesome" to be displayed in such a way.

But pictures of Amy Wino tumbling down the street in a drugged stupor is just fine? Pictures of Britney Spears who clearly suffers from mental illness, being rolled on a gurney into an ambulance after a tense stand off with her children locked in a bathroom is ok?

When did people who clamor for the latest gossip suddenly get moral? These are the same people posting depressing photos of celebrities dying of cancer! But its ok because we've been desensitized to cancer. Cancer is all around us, so no big whoop.

I posted that picture because the world needs to see MORE abused spouses. They need to know how not ok it is to abuse a significant other (or anyone) no matter the gender.

I also posted that picture to show young women that THAT is the end result to stupidity. A woman with any self respect would never stay with a spouse that abuses them like that or in any other way. This is not 1940 when it was acceptable to "smack her around a little bit". This is two thousand and muthafuckin nine for crying out loud. And women are STILL putting up with this?

I am embarrassed. I'm embarrassed for Rhianna. I'm embarrassed that a woman who's main selling point is that she is a "strong" and "independent" artist, has been stripped bare and this is what she truly is. It's the one time she should have believed her own hype.

Chris Brown should get persecuted not for beating a woman, but a human being. Of course no court is going to ignore the fact that she is a "small, innocent lady". And even if this does go to court, what outcome is acceptable to the general public? He can't go to prison for beating someone up. He can only be put on probation, maybe a fine, maybe anger management. All the while people are gonna watch his every move then slowly forget about him. His career is over, there is no doubt about that. Hollywood is unforgiving.


I just want to know what everyone wants out of this? what punishment is justified in this instance? not much.


PS to see just how gender bias physical abuse information is...google image it. You'll see a whole hell of a lot of women with black eyes....Lets remember that men are abused too ok?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Well Chris Brown is Fucked




TOTALLY SUCKS FOR HER!

I stand by my earlier comments. If she was stupid enough to stay with him even though he'd done this shit before, she deserved it.

Instead of "a real man doesnt hit a woman" I say "A REAL WOMAN ONLY HAS TO GET HIT ONCE BEFORE SHE'S GONE"

Rhianna..I feel for you but you just helped give young women a bad rep...

-DD

UPDATE: Happy Birthday Rhianna! jeez...

Suri says STFU to other children






So little Suri got DisneyLand for Valentines day. Literally. This child has now met every character at the park and also stayed in the Castle this past Saturday.

I feel bad for every single kid there who wasn't Suri Cruise. Not only were the character all way more interested in TomKats little spawn, but she got to prance around the castle too??

Kind of a big ole fuck you to the hard working parents who scrimpt and saved to take their kids to the most Magical Place on Earth....

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A What?



k..I know how they came up with this song

CEO: ok we need a toy that's like a hula hoop, but not. something to make the kids look like complete idiots but they wont care cause they are having fun. What do ya got?

Young 20 something Ad man: A....uh...swing.....and.....a....um..well wings....

CEO: A what?????

Y20SAM: A...Swing...Wing....?

CEO: oh...well I've got to get home to my hot wife and martini so I guess this will do. Have the guys in Acid Induced Commercials come up with something..




-DD

Cover Girl


I'm definitily a gay man trapped in a womans body. I believe that's why I tend to gravitate to the fabulous gay men that I do. I'm a fag hag and proud.


Ladies and Gentleman



The one, The only, RuPaul



-DD

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dating is Dead


Has anyone seen the OnlineBootyCall.com commercials lately? Yeah me too and I almost threw up. Not only do these creeps already have a website for booty calls...Myspace... but now they are advertising their chauvinistic ways?


The commercial basically says any man who wants commitment is a loser and that us young pretty girls don't like that. Wrong. What we don't like are booty calls. Bitches be crazy.

The commercials come on after 9pm so keep your eyes pealed. It'll be the one between the Girls Gone Wild and Sham WOW! ads..

If you don't waste your time with evil television here's one for your youtubing pleasure.


-DD

Are you going to the Circus?

Alright! So I thought this was cute because I love Britney and have completely ignored her this week.

The dancers are priceless because I'm sure they are all about 20. but this isn't what the post is about. It's about the possibility that Britney is being drugged out of her mind.

People "close" to the pop star have said that Papa Spears has been keeping Britney on a strict anti anxiety pill regimen.

I don't know if any of you have tried to dance medicated....but its a lot harder than it looks. If she is already on medication for depression and now anxiety, I doubt the woman is functioning at 100%

This whole subplot of medication and conservatorship just reminds me of all the books I've read on Judy Garland. The Divine Ms. J was on medication for something from her early double digits to the time of her death. And it all started with a parent...


Hopefully this isn't Ms. Spears' Carnegie Hall before the fall..


-DD

Hmm, maybe the dresses were ugly?


Paris and The Other One were sure to show their appreciation to the only event that still invites them to come hang out.

Maybe the dresses were so ugly they had to txt everyone they know. Everyone that trusts a dingbat like Paris Hilton with their phone number after "Cell Hack 2005".

From what I can see, that dress looks like a pink potato sack with a pocket.

That's Hot.

-DD

Uncle Phil has failed you




I was watching TBS's comedy line up today (as I do every day) and this commercial came on.

1) Uncle Phil has gotten skinny.

2) Uncle Phil didn't fail me.

Lily Allen to Perez Hilton: "You are obsessed"



Ms. Allen. A young lady that just has talent. Every song I hear from her automatically resonates with an experience I have had. Thats when you know you have a true artist.

Anyway, Perez has been on Ms. Allen's back for almost a year and some change, calling her a drunk, a slut, and all around uncool. Funnily enough he still finds time to stalk the shit out of her on every social network available.

Mr. Perez just doesn't like that Lily has expressed her dislike with Katy Perry. I also don't like Ms. Perry. Until I see the bitch pen a hit song before my eyes, I take her songs with a grain of "hollywood producers created this" salt. She uses sex and very short skirts to sell her records and I don't appreciate being lied to. Also she ain't that pretty.

Perez has now taken to Twitter (which I'm on, go find me!) to harrass Lily and during this charade it became clear what Pere'z motives are: TO GET IN LILY'S NEW VIDEO!

LA times posted this article describing this mornings back and forth twit-fight and this quote struck me as off:

"When Perez egged her on, jokingly posting that he should be cast in Allen's next video, the Brit shot back with the strongest line of this mini-Twitter tussle: "oh, I'm sorry , we've already cast the jealous and bitter lonely old queen role. Next time eh ?"

Now. If someone hates you soooo much, why would they want to be part of your video? This sounds familiar


OH YEAH! cause he kinda just did the same thing with B spears!!! Perez who continually slammed Britney is now going to be in her tour, as I earlier reported. Seems Hilton just loves to work with those he puts down. Thankfully this isn't Lily Allen's first time at the rodeo...

It's not going to work this time, MARIO.


-DD

Octo-Pussy: A reality tv show would exploit my kids


http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/17/octomom-i-dont-need-salmas-boob-milk/


a pretty funny video, Octo-Pussy talks about her kids, gets asked some really stupid questions, gives some pretty stupid answers, and exclaims that doing a reality tv show once her newest kids are older would exploit them.

Didnt know that pictures of them and their home all over the internet WASN'T exploiting them.

Good to know for when I have my own 18 bundles of joy....at once.

Haven't you hear? Big as life baby bumps are the new black. Everyone's got one...do you?

Monday, February 16, 2009

Quick note on comments

Wow what a difference a week can make! The Post is already getting daily traffic and is being bookmarked daily as well! I've been advertising the blog all over and its great to see my dream take flight.

To make comments easier and to possibly start comment discussions, I'm imploring all of my wonderful readers to only use the "name/url" option on the comment page. You can add a social networking url or simply leave it blank, its the NAMES that are important. Until Blogger makes an option to simply use a name to comment, or until I transfer to a different blogging account, this is the only way I'll know my beautiful following by name!

Annon no more!

Again thanks for reading and check back tomorrow for more gossip and hilarity!

-The Dark Dahlia

Chantelle says Alfie is her main squeeze.

Following up on the "13" year old father and his hoes.

It was only a matter of time until people started testing the couple to see if this cherub faced kid was really the father.

Chantelle says “I love Alfie. I lost my virginity to him. We decided to start a physical relationship because we love each other. There has been no one else." Now I call bullshit just because he name is Chantelle. Sorry Chantelles of the world, you all have a whore's name. Doesn't mean you automatically are whores but....it just means you had a strike against you from day one.

Alfie also says that Chantelle has only ever had one beau; him.
“I am the only boyfriend Chantelle’s had — and we’ve been together for two years...I must be the dad.” When someone explains what "financially" is to this kid, also give him the definition of trifflin ho.

2 count em TWO boys have come forward saying that they are the father of little Maisie.


This kid, who's 16 years old (and who's mom has been on Trisha, the UK equivalent to Tyra, twice)

and this kid who's 14



Chantelle seems to have some affection for baby fat. In any event both boys say not only that it could be their child, but that ANY of the teen boys in that neighborhood could be the father. They both claim that Chantelle is known for having very co-ed sleep overs.




This is the first time I have ever seen teens clamor for paternity. Maybe Chantelle had it right all along. Get em while they're young and eager to help!

The pussy from which Octo-Pussy burst through, speaks!


Watch CBS Videos Online

Grand-Pussy has finally had her time in front of the camera. Again not what I thought she would look like but she seems like a regular crazy grandma.

I still don't get how anyone can say this woman is a good mom considering what that house looks like. I currently live in a 3 bedroom house...it can barely fit 3 people comfortably in each room let alone 17.

-DD

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Peachy Keen! NSFW


If you're like me, you don't know who the hell Peaches Geldof is. From what I gather, she's a mix of Paris Hilton (which by the way, I still ask myself why white, upstanding people would name their child such a black name as that of an actual hotlel...), and Lily Allen without the music.

A 19 year old socialite rebel.

anyway I usually ignore any news on her because I could care less if she sluts around and has a new boyfriend that I also have no clue about. I guess I'm just not worldly like other people are...thankfully though....I do read News of the World like any red blooded American! They have posted pictures of Peaches fantastic tattoos.

I myself am a fan of the "Random Tattoo" a piece of ink with meaning, that is just kind of there. No reason for it to be in the spot that its in...it just seemed like a good place to put it at the time. This girl has 20 "Random Tattoos". Good idea cause they are nice, bad idea cause inless she wants to shell out made mula to get them removed...we're gonna see her old and saggy, lookin like a stamp tester....

now...there's nudity in this post. One thing I'll never do is edit the human form. Everyone has boobs. If you get offended by boobs I'd just like to tell you....there's lots of boobs in this post. Not huge obnoxious boobs, just nice "hand full" sized boobs....connected to a body I am deeply jealous of.






















I wonder if Miley watches "Don't Forget the Lyrics"



OK! so she forgot about...ohhh 7 seconds worth of lyrics to the song. Obvs she didn't write the tune and she's too busy being a teeny bopper ho to learn her songs. Just another piece of proof that disney kids can't all be pop stars..

The song itself is a catchy little bippy and if someone else had sang it, I'd probably like it.


anyway the point of this blog is: why is this girl so hot at such a young age? she's wearing waaaay less that Ms. Spears wore back in the day and she's not even 18 yet!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Remember this kid?


Charlie Korsmo. He's the kid from Hook obviously. Later on in life he became this (somewhat akward) kid in Can't Hardly Wait



Now I'll let you reminisce about the 90's when you were probably/hopefully younger.....

K ready?



















Charlie Korsmo in 2002


Yeah....that awkward thing didn't really end.

anyway lets catch up on Charlie!

From wiki and confirmed true:

Korsmo earned a degree in physics from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. In 2002, he began working for the United States Federal Government on missile defense. He has also worked for the Environmental Protection Agency and for the Republican Party in the House of Representatives. He received a Juris Doctor degree from Yale Law School in 2006.

At Yale, he was a member of the Federalist Society, an organization for politically conservative law students. In January 2006, he and other Yale Law students signed an open letter to Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter supporting the nomination of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. In July 2007, Korsmo wrote, and subsequently passed, the New York State Bar exam.

Korsmo is currently an associate in the New York office of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP.


*sigh of slight disappointment*

Not only was he in quite a few good movies, but I totally had a crush on this kid during my Hook phase and now my dreams and childhood G rated fantasies of him are null and void.

This guy looks like a douche with a capital BAG..

P.S. Did 7 years REALLY do that much damage to him?

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