Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Yeah...having a litter of people can really fuck you up



Sometimes I actually feel bad for Octomom. Not super duper bad because she already had 6 kids before pumping herself full of fresh eggs and swimmers...but


A) the Doctor used way more than she was expecting

B) It's hard to selectively kill off the babies you don't want (especially when they are so expensive)

C) She's got 14 kids so its hard to hate her because she's already in a living hell

There is a tape that leaked out and people are up in arms because she says that she "hates babies". I would probably hate babies too if they ruined my body, sucked me dry emotionally and physically and then didn't understand why mommy is so tired.

I'm sure one of her brood has asked her "didn't you want this, Bitch?".

The tape also divulges in her need for alone time. She apparently locks herself in the bathroom (a common practice for those who seek privacy) and eats meals in there as well. I've seen a bathroom used by 14 children before and I REALLY hope her maid does a good job. I would have elected for an actual closet for my meal time but you git what you git and you don't pitch a fit.

The woman obviously have PPD and does indeed need some help. But for the most part she seems pretty lucid for such a crazy nut! She has a background in psychology and I kind of agree with her "litter(ary) theory of bondage". I'd love for her to write a book...but I'd wait till it was at least at the grocery store if not the dollar store to purchase it.

Those ain't mah kids to be supportin'

Oh and lolz...





-D

Monday, July 18, 2011

Who Didn't See This Coming?


No, really?....

I called falsies on this as soon as it happened. They get married and for about 6 years you didn't know which one had truly given up their career for the marriage....and then J.Lo comes back to our world with her not-so-big-anymore-thanks-to- Kim K. ass and it finally all made sense! "Ohhhhh" we all said "He's at home with the kids".

Celebrity, or to put it more accurately, has-been husbands don't much like when their ladies get second shots. It's like clockwork to see a has-been duo break down after one gets a B12 shot to the career. No one wants to hear Marc Anthony sing "I Need to Know" because quite frankly its a shitty song. I'm not even going to mention the fact that he looks near death all the fucking time. Oops..

Sadly to keep up appearances, they got pregnant with twins 3 years ago so now we have to deal with their offspring in about 15 years. Those adorable mental train wrecks outta be fun.


-D

I can't believe no one has cut off HIS dick!

KFed...how are you so damn fertile? I thought the ganja was supposed drastically decrease your load potency! I dunno, that may be a load of horse hooey and it very well could be the reason you keep knockin bitches up. Marijuana is not a solid form of birth control, people!

On the other hand, it does make for a pleasantly plum Kevin Federline! I mean c'mon, Kevin....why did you even go on Celebrity Fit Club? You can't teach an old stoner new tricks and we all know your outing's to Subway wouldn't make Jared proud.

This is number FIVE for The Fed and I really am shocked. B Nasty is paying for this child, does anyone realize that? Not only that, but there is a strong possibility that this new kid could actually look like it's a Federline-Spears concoction. Does anyone else see the crazy resemblance to BritneyBitch?


Ok so pretty much the only resemblance is the blonde hair and internal sense of shame they both clearly have. 
-D

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Girlie Moment: Clean and Clear's Mattifying Cleanser


Hello, All! I wanted to actually sit down and write a lil sumthin to explain why I haven't been posting and keeping up with the celeb world...ya see, The Dahlia was pollinated this season and has pretty much given up on doing much of anything during this brutal summer. Plus I STILL don't give a fuck about Lindsey Lohan so of course gossip has become quite limited.

I did however want to begin a new sub topic called Girlie Moment. It's a stupid title, I know...

Anyway, with my pregnancy, I've noticed my skin has gotten REALLY oily. I have always had pretty nice skin and so far the mask of pregnancy has not been kind to me. I decided to purchase Mattifying Cleanser and thank god I did. This stuff is amazing! It doesn't dry out my skin because I use witchhazel on the greasiest sections right after and then apply a pea sized amount of  regular moisturizing creme after that. I think the moisturizing lotion that is the second step in this product would probably dry out the skin so I went with a gentler Ponds Dry Skin Cream


My face feels fucking fantastic, alright! It smells delicious and for once I don't feel like I have a skillet after bacon face.

-D