Saturday, May 14, 2011

Zombie Proof House



So I read about this amazing invention about a month ago. Reading it, I thought "this is what all houses should be like, because lets face it...we are a culture that is afraid of everything".

The windows that hinge closed, the one ramp into the house thats on the second floor, the genius location of "in the middle of fucking no where" is all fantastic.

But then I had a detailed dream involving that house and found some problems with its design!

1. The pool room has no protection: Unless this is a totally stand alone addition to the luxuriance of the house, there is at least one door that leads to the interior of the house should zombies attack. Seeing as it's blue tinted windows stand out even during the day, zombies will try to get in there first. Even during Z-day I may want to take a dip...

2. Air vents. I don't see any but they've got to be on top of the house somewhere. Where is the air coming from? Is it like a panic room with a small tubular vent? Does the house have its own air supply during attacks and when will that run out? If they have regular air ducts I think its safe to say the inhabitants would be screwed within a few hours.

3. The retractable shed. It's obvious it's not sturdy. Even the sturdiest of those types of doors can be pushed down by an angry mob. We're not sure how smart these zombies are but if they got something to knock it down with (which would require team work), that wall doesn't stand a chance. Behind that its just glass!

4. The indoor staircase. It's not retractable and if the shed door were to come down, I'd want it to be. At least then you'd have more of a shot of keeping them downstairs, right? Not that that would help any since the food and cooking supplies are downstairs.

5. There is no additional downstairs. If we're going to make a zombie proof house, why not make a shelter below it?

Did the Dahlia think too much into this? Probably. She's not ashamed 'neither...

-D

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