Monday, August 31, 2009

okay chris, say you AREN'T a douche bag...

You still beat someone up. So at least say sorry and mean it in regards to that! To be honest, no body really cares what you did anymore. I'm pretty sure this entire situation has put both of your careers to rest in terms of longevity. This time next year no one will care about either one of you! So just say "hey man...bitch pissed me the fucks off!" and leave it at that.

If anything you should have just used it to your advantage to be thug life forever!

I will say though that I've lost my temper many a time and been able to recall very little of it later on. it DOES happen. Especially when you are in a rage, not just upset. So its a very real possibility. It also should be mentioned that people who have grown up in abusive families do tend to have one or two violent outbursts in their life that endangers others. its not a regular thing.

Maybe Chris really is a changed man...but he REALLY needs to start memorizing his answers so he sounds convincing.


Ester Dean

So new to the music scene (and might I add..a little late for summer club hit line since school started a week ago..) is Ester Dean!

I know absolutely nothing about this person but I enjoy the debut single "Drop it low" immensely!

Such a fun beat! The radio version is a lot more fun though. And less dangerous since the second version features Chris Brown...

what a thug...

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Hi studdles....

So the long story short version of this story is this guy who'd had one too many trips in the 60's started lookin for that special lady to have forced sex with, got caught with a lady locked in a storage facility and was put in jail. Gets out in the 80's and lives life as a convicted sex offender

only here's the kicker!

Dude kidnapped a girl and kept her in a compound in his backyard till like....a week ago! She had 2 of his children that hes raised with his wife (what a catch gurl!) and all of his neighbors feel like jackasses cause they can see and hear children in the fenced and tarp ridden backyard of a sex offender and didnt think "hey....i cant see in there...and hes not supposed to have kids over there...".

but no one must feel as stupid as the po po that totally went to his house a number of times! And of course his parole officer hes seen regularly up until last MONTH.

Seriously guys...where are our priorities? 18 years and shes been in the same mu-fuckin house?

Anyway I hope to see a really well developed investigation of this guy. We haven't had a real certifiable crazy person in the media for a while! I'm guessing schizophrenia with an obvious sexual deviance or 2...or 5. He says that his life has turned around and that he actually created a very normal functioning family, heartwarming even. His two daughters, which were described as "Little House on the Prairie robots", know nothing about the past. The kidnapped girl? Well she's in love with him too! His wife he met in prison when her uncle was locked up. He pretty much has his bitches trained, right??

Don't hate the pimp...

But in all seriousness, its a shame whats happened to all of the innocent people he's effected. But its an even bigger shame that the very system that is in place to help those with dysfunctional psychological patterns was the same system that let this slip through their fingers for about as long as I've been alive.

ps he has a blog!


Saturday, August 29, 2009

I'm intregued...

Mr. Zombie, could you think about making another original movie please, mister, please?

I love me some Rob Zombie. I've had a gigantic crush on the man that's nearing about 13 years this winter. But his Halloween remake was not that good. Granted I saw it was an ex boyfriend...who was already an ex boyfriend by then...but it was really bad. Visually spot on but the fact that you made him more inhuman than before kinda hurt the story of this being some crazy guy who happens to be bulletproof and fire retardant...and who can grow a head back apparently.

You made him like 7'2......that's just pushing it. I kept thinking "he just looked like Mick from Slipknot"

There is Halloween 2 which is his second foray into this franchise and apparently the last. And now Mr. Zombie wants to reimagine The Blob. It could actually work if he does it right. But theres the chance that he won't entirely. Maybe make the blob alien virus that slowly engulfs one from the inside out. Something along the lines of the Black Oil from "The X-Files" and "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"?...just throwin it out there boo!

This could be his redemption film because I doubt Halloween 2 is any good! ouch, sorry baby...


Friday, August 28, 2009

I'm in utter shock

I did not see this coming! It's such a sad loss for the music world. DJ-AM, a musical genius on the tables died of an apparent, but gonna be ruled so, drug overdose this week. (I wonder how Travis is taking this....)

I hope they were (and are) getting psychiatric help after A PLANE CRASH AND BEING ON FUCKING FIRE.

Big big big time sad news.


Ps small lol on that "ring of fire" sample...cause they were on know you were all thinking it....


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Bullshit Call

From Perez:

It takes criminal charges for a woman beater to get the point!

Chris Brown's February assault on Rihanna was not an isolated incident, as the domestic abuser was involved in (at least) two unreported acts of violence toward his ex-girlfriend.

According to a probation officer’s report, the first incident happened in Europe about three months prior to the February assault during a heated dispute between the pop stars. Rihanna slapped Chris and he responded by shoving her into a wall.

If that wasn't enough, during a trip to Barbados in January, the two got in an argument in their rented Range Rover. Chris exited the vehicle and smashed both the driver's and front passenger side windows. The pop stars were able to cover up that incident.

We're surprised RiRi wasn't injured! Not to mention that she stayed with him so long!

Ok I'm sorry but considering there are paps around these two 24/7, I find it hard to believe they could cover up these fights in public. PLUS, now we know from this that Rhianna could be an instigator. Stop fucking hitting each other!!!!! The Dahlia says "use your words!"

P.S. as I've said before....Rhianna is half to blame for getting her face mangled cause she stayed with someone that mangles faces!


Monday, August 24, 2009

Holy Crap!

He looks like the son from The Nutty Professor...


Dear Perez

This was way too goddamn harsh you nasty nasty queen.

Girlfriend needs to chillax with the mom hate when you are already talkin shit to someone more than half your age.

Be a grown up and stick to begging and pleading Madonna to use her strap on with you while you suck off Lady Gag


Hey Jordin can we talk?

Considering according to my mom, she went to high school with your father...we're practically best friends. So do you mind telling me who the hell you think you're fooling?

cause that ain't you honey...

just sayin...

P.S. and NO she didn't lose a bunch of weight cause they did the same thing on her first albumSteps to making myself thin:
1) get famous
2) airbrush the shit out of myself
3) fuck Chris Brown for cardio
4) airbrush some more and hope for the best!

Remember Self, One Step At A Time.

-Jordin "You" Sparks



I never watch singing talent shows on tv or online but I'm really glad I caught this one thanks to Ben!

Now I never thought Susan Boyle was all that great. Gasp all you want, she just didn't do it for me and I thought her entire 15 minutes of fame was bullshit! But THIS GUY NEEDS TO BE FAMOUS! This is how you audition for something you are passionate about! It took me half way through to realize from the video title that this wasn't a end of the season performance! Now his vocals are shaky but give this guy even a week of good training and he's got more talent than half the dudes rockin it out there. No joke.

Oh also could he be any hotter? yumtastic! He looks like Jonathan Schaech only not as eerie.

PS.. fucking duh, Simon. Of course he's the best first audition you've ever seen. Jackass...


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Oh What The Fuck

So as I was saying in my last fucking post, I really hoped this show was gonna continue but now it seems RYAN JENKINS KILLED HIS GODDAMN SELF today! So there goes Megan's career! bye bye boo, don't get too fat cause I don't think it'd look good on ya..

nope..her fat is like Star Jones skinny...


Saturday, August 22, 2009

Oh darn! I love this show!

It's got to be a bad sign of desensitization when you are more upset that your favorite show was cancelled and in no way are disgusted with the fact that a star on it probably Delbert Grady-ed his wife!

Ryan from Megan Wants a Millionaire is the reason why my beloved gold digging show is now on hiatus!

I think I just cried a little. Best Show Ever! Hope it returns with less murder!


Monday, August 17, 2009

Hi Mario! When did you get hot?

I've always thought Mario looked a little weird. He looked like such a young boy back in the day. His looks aren't super memorable except for his wide receiving nostrils, but his songs have always been fun.

But now I'm totally on the Mario train because boy is lookin FINE!

His new video for "Break Up", one of the better summer closing singles that have been released recently is a shiny example.

Kids ripped. Not really liking the bald but he's grown up fer-sher! If you aren't agreeing with the hottness you can at least agree that the new beat is fantastically delicious!


You can't turn a ho....

As we all know (or should know) my long time favorite couple Katie Price and Peter Andre called it quits this summer. Never the one to let victory slip through her long hot pink nailed fingers, Katie already has a new loverboy, cage fighter Alex Reid, to keep her and her beautiful children company.

Pete doesn't agree with this however and has made a huge stink over Katie makin out in front of the kids witha dude he's never met.

Thats not Katies fault Pete! We all know you've got lots of cars to drive over and introduce yourself in!!

Madonna did the same thing with her Jesus Toy and everyone thinks its fantastic and liberating for her! Cougar central! But if beautiful young Katie wants to find herself a hunk cage fighter to introduce to her super young and not too bright children, the world says a collective "no!" to her. Instead, Peter has been on a very strong "poor me" campaign (complete with pictures of him being a good daddy for the cameras) saying Katie is a disgrace for getting a new beau so quickly..

I say more power to you Katie! Your marriage how ever cute and charming and witty as it was, is over because you couldn't be yourself! A skank is always a skank and as young as she is, she deserves to keep playing while she still looks like a stunna!

SHE was the bread winner for that family so we could have guessed when she was told to stay home with the kids while Peter worked on his "comeback" that it wouldn't end well. Sometimes its best to be Mr. [wifes name].

Take a lesson from Mr. Stefani....

PS the cameras are still rolling for what can only be Katie's new solo tv show. The uncropped version of Katie and Alex kissing has a production crew filming the kids. YES!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Shahrukh Khan Detained in Newark of all places..

For those who don't know, Shahrukh Khan is a VERY big deal in India. I'd say in the hottness scale he's in the middle of Benico Del Toro and Brad Pitt. He's been in a number of my favorite Bollywood films one being Om Shanti Om!

That's why after seeing on CNN's ticker that he had been detained I was so shocked.

Simply because his last name is Khan. No Joke.

On behalf of my country, Sorry! We're jerks! Khan is like Smith over there and we're sorry we detained your Benico Del Pitt.


Friday, August 14, 2009

I had to

I had to break my weekend off to post my RIP to the funniest show on tv

From Thomas Lennons Twitter

Reno 911! was cancelled at 1:30 pm today. Won't be wearing the shorts again.

NO! I can't say I didn't see it coming though. This past season was just a lot of the same joke over and over. They lost a number of very funny people (I'm sure because of the studio wanted to refresh the show) and the cast's new additions just didn't pull people in the same way.

I will for sure miss this amazing piece of comedic history!

PS I'm glad Thomas Lennon spells cancelled with two l's too. It just makes sense, right Tom?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Hes such a good dancer!

I don't care how Channing Tatum is dancing as long as he is! I love a man who has control over his body like that!

Dance pool boy! Dance!


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

She's still mad about that?

Remember when Amy Fisher tried to kill the wife of her nasty grease monkey lover, Joey Buttafuoco? Yeah me neither cause I was like 5 but I fersher remember the countless made for tv movies that followed those headlines.

Well it just so turns out that Joeys now ex wife (and not cause she got shot in the head by his mistress....cause she stayed for that, hookers and some other legal stuff..and THEN divorced him) is still kinda pissed and wrote a book.

Just like a whole bunch of other people that think Joey B is a douchebag king.

No one will read it I'm sure, but the title alone is just that final zing every scorned wife wants to serve their ex:
Getting It Through My Thick Skull - Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know.

Oh PS, Amy does porn now NSFW ...or anyone really. She totally has herpes, wtf!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Okay other theories

Ok so my phone has been going crazy over this Di-ck news.

I've got to say that it could very well be her latest "Art" which so far has been a basic slap in the face to the media because they distract from a not so deep and knowledgeable person.....

Theres also the possibility that she was just wearing REALLY WEIRD UNDERWEAR.

But I still say she has a dick. It's not a bad thing, chicks with dicks is totes whatev in my book...just BEEEE yourself.


Friday, August 7, 2009


I'm sorry I am not saying this in a rude way but I think this is absolutely crazy. Lady Di-ick was talking to her crowd and her weener came out. Basically shes lied and ended up CONFUSING a lot of straight males out there with this revelation

It’s not something that I’m ashamed of, just isn’t something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female. It’s just a little bit of a penis and really doesn’t interfere much with my life. The reason I haven’t talked about it is that it’s not a big deal to me. Like come on. It’s not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I’m sexy, I’m hot. I have both a poon and a peener. Big f*cking deal.

The big fucking deal is your name is Lady Gaga and SOME (none that I know) straight males have been fawning over you and probably rubbing em out like no other to your amazingly sexy videos and now you come out saying you're a SheMale, DUDER!

Did we not learn from Chyna Doll?


Thursday, August 6, 2009


ok what is wrong with Mariah's backup singers???? This was the worst possible mix of a song to sing live!!!!

SO not he fault plus she's not a fucking pop star so the dancing should go away now....She looks like an idiot. Not drugged, not drunk, not crazy...just stupid. But that body is in good condition! thank god!


John Hughes! No no no!

I'm so sad to hear about this death! I mean it's always sad to hear about one but John is/was one of my favorite writer-directors. He did so many films that still stand strong today. The Breakfast Club left me in awe the first time I saw it, Vacation is everyone's dream nightmare road trip, Curly Sue is just a classic to love and cherish, and I still say to this day if I could Weird Science myself a perfect man all my problems would be solved.

John Hughes....You were a major part of my life as well as pretty much everyone else I know. Thanks for making awesome movies even though Flubber fucking sucked ass and you totally produced it.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Music Video of the day goes to Pete Rock and CL Smooth

Just cuz!


No Perez here's why

Perez c'mon

Vanity Fair's best dressed list has been announced and notably absent is Angelina Jolie.

However, her main man Brad Pitt made the list for the third year in a row.

But for realz, Ange isn't on the list?

As for President Barack Obama, he made the list for the first time and Michelle Obama made her third appearance on it.

Also new on the list is Penelope Cruz, Anne Hathaway, Alicia Keys, Kelly Ripa.

So why no Angie??

She always looks fab, though in recent years she's done a lot less press than before, so we think it's probably due to lack of exposure, not lack of style.

The only reason why shes not on there is because everyone realized that all she does is where black. she may wear a colorful dress when knocked up beyond belief but when it comes down to it, the bitch wears too much black. No LACK OF EXPOSURE here. Are you fucking kidding me? The entire year has been that of Brad and Ange. I'm more sick of them than before they started adding to their kiddie collection. I used to adore Angelina Jolie before she wanted to become some weird Mother Teresa/Princess Di hybrid with a dash of Mia Farrow. Whatevs

Stop wearing black all the time like teenager. Your soul isn't black...just your daughter.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Pete Andre

I have a worried feeling about this. Peter in Fabulous mag.

We've seen it before, where the husband breaks away and becomes more famous than anyone anticipated when they were with their powerhouse wife....

Peter Andre's career is back and so is his body.

His music still sucks but I'm hoping this wasnt a strategic move on his part...


Trina Tuesday!

It's feeling like a Trina Tuesday. I will never forget the first time I saw "Baddest Bitch". It was on the local music video channel The Box back in 2000. The girl is a hit maker...

I mean how many times have you wanted to do that?! Hopefully she didn't fuck Lil Wayne up after their relationship fizzled in 2006! Oh snap! anyway....

Today's video is Look back at me....oddly enough I'm totally feeling the second T verse..

Look back at you for WHAT?....


Monday, August 3, 2009

Git it gurl!

People have been saying these two are gross and disgusting but I think its quite fitting that super hasbeen Jen Love and somewhat funny somewhat douchey Jaime Kennedy are a couple!

In fact my very words when I started seeing pictures and hearing interviews was what?

oh yeah "He probably has a big dick. Good for her!"

and I stand by it gurl! Get some funny love!

PS I love the nasty grab bag action. wooop wooop!


A Perfect Getaway? only if those aren't all the good parts in the trailer..

I know its been done before...for instance in a more lighthearted "6 Days 7 Nights"

or "The River Wild" with Kevin Bacon and Meryl Streep.

Couple goes out onto an island and people try to kill them. A classic 'what if you couldn't run away' plot line.

BUT STEVE ZAHN AND MILLA JOVOVICH both beautiful as ever in an action movie?!?! The gods have answered my prayers! If I saw them as a couple I'd bring them gold frankincense and myrrh.... no joke!

Now if only they could convince Steve to play Kurt Cobain.....right?

PS Lolz at the 90's trailers....only not so much cause they are still cheesy like that!


Is Jude Law that busy?

Maybe I live under a rock, but isn't Jude Law's time over?Never was I a fan and I have only really ever seen one full movie of his and it wasn't his best (I'm hoping).

So why are so many women havin babies of his???? Ladies I know he's English but he's also a douche bag who wont take care of his 4 fucking kids! Plus he sexes up the help!

Keep it in your pants Mr. Law or the law is gonna get you for being a dead beat. Cause we all know how fast you celebs lose mula cause of babymamas!


Sunday, August 2, 2009

Music Video of the day goes to Jean Grae

I forgot about this amazing song till today. One of the best female MC's out there...Jean Grae's deep and tragic "Taco Day"

Did anyone else forget this happened too?

hahahah WHAT?!

I remember watching this on Jay Leno back on 03 trying to figure out how this came to be....

PS Rob looks adorably uncomfy dancing. and yes the audio doesnt match up...but who fucking cares! This is amazing!


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Why didn't he listen!?!?!

So Drake officially=idiot. He went on stage, tried to dance, and fucking tore his ACL..AGAIN.

Doctors advised him not to appear on stage and certainly not to dance, as he was doing when he re-injured himself.

Will America accept a wheelchair rapper? We got a black in the white house, same dif...


Tina! Bring me the axe!

I have to say that Joan Crawford is without a doubt my number favorite classic actress. Her early work in the 30's and 40's is by far better than most of the more famed and respected actresses of the day. She simply became her roles, not for the screen but for her own therapeutic uses. Abused in childhood, she set off on her own as a dancer and later got a contract in Hollywood. Their she worked her way up from a chorus girl to top billing over a man in blockbuster after blockbuster. She had affairs with almost every director she worked with...and a number of her leading men (my fav of them being the lifelong love affair with Clark Gable).

Joan also adopted 5 children from the black market. 1 was given back to the mother after she'd realized the adoption agency was not legit. Of those 4 children she so desperately wanted to love and be loved by, 2 of them made it their life's mission to tarnish the one respected name of Joan Crawford. They accused her of daily physical and mental abuse though not many of her staff and friends don't back up the claims. Christina has even said recently that they were simply afraid to lose their jobs or Joan as an influential and powerful friend. Joan died in the 1970's yet no one thereafter came forward as a witness to the terror within the JC mansion....hmm...

Mommie Dearest by Christina Crawford is a book everyone should read. Not because its all true, but because an abused childs mind often embellishes memories of their past. I have no doubt in my mind that Joan abused her children. The book is shining example of that! After its publishing the book was made into a campy gem of the same name. I have always held the belief (as others do as well) that Christina wished desperately to BE Joan. Not to be like her mother but to be her. For a small girl in a time when all one could aspire to be was a traditional female role, having a single mother with international power must have been very enchanting to her. Joan saw this as competition of course. Just another young face she'd spoiled and given loads of love to that was kickin her balls. As a result Joan would not allow christina any access to easy street just be cause she was "Crawford's daughter". This probably killed her chances as Christina would grow up to be a very unsuccessful actress! What else would a talentless and extremely bitter hollywood child do? Write a book and do a movie saying your mother could have made Hilter cry and pee himself...and then clean it up with Ajax and tears...

I absolutely love the movie AND love Joan. Very few people can say that and mean it. And my last statement that everyone's heard me say time and time again: If Christina was how she was in the movie...that shady brat deserved it!